Whatever helps you sleep at night

By: Melanie

There has been a lot of talk of money around our "house" these days. Of course, keeping in mind that we don't have a house these days, there has been a lot of talk in other people's houses, in the car, in coffee shops, walking down the street, and the like.

J and I have recently come to realize that our lean years are only just beginning. We've gotten off pretty easily up until now. What with parental generosity, past earnings and more student loans than one might imagine possible, there hasn't ever been a time when we've really felt the pinch. Until now, I'm afraid. This year we will finally have actual salaries again for the first time in over four years, but with mountains of debt to begin repaying and that bombshell that is Preschool dropping into our laps in September, times will be tight. We're also in the process of buying a car, as we can no longer rely on the mecca of public transportation that was New York City. Oh, how I wish Gail Vaz-Oxlade was renting a room in our new unfinished basement. But there is hope.

The other day, during our third commute to Ottawa in a week, my husband turned to me and said: "You know what we need to do? Make a budget. And I'm one hundred percent on-board this time. Put me on an allowance." Swoon. He then proceeded to lay out a plan where we save up money each month to buy whatever is on our list of items we want for the house (couch, new bed, bbq, tv, etc.) and only buy something once we have the money to pay for it as a treat for sticking to the budget. I love this man.

That evening I went online and started making our budget on Gail's website. I also "Owned Up" to my debt...it wasn't pretty...and discovered that I am a "Compulsive Shopper". Needless to say, tightening the purse strings and operating solely with cash is going to be wonderfully good for us. Though I sure will miss the online retail therapy.  But the way I see it, even if I don't sleep quite as comfortably as I would have in our new $1600 Sofitel king-sized SoBed, at least I'll rest easy.

Unexpected Holiday & Being Still

By Marca




We had no plans for the holidays. My husband had to work and so we made no plans for visitors and big parties or activities. It was to be a low key Christmas. It worked out well since we are attempting to save money and resources for our big trip to China this coming year.

Enter one official letter from the government for an adoption appointment. We had to head home to our place down south where my mom lives. With only a couple of days before Christmas we decided we had better stay. DH got the extra two days off and we took a 14 hour road trip. Enter one phone call from little sister. One call brought surrounding family heading our direction. In short, we had a big family Christmas complete with a tree quickly decorated, gifts madly purchased and wrapped and a big feast. Enter the snowstorm. Christmas morning brought a visit from Santa and a beautiful layer of freshly fallen snow. Snow continued falling all Christmas day making the chance for our departure the next day very unlikely. We entered Christmas night in a beautiful content stillness from the warmth family resting inside to the quiet cold snowy blanket outside. Being still is a good thing. Sometimes, we don't do it ourselves and we are forced into it. That beautiful snow that arrived that Christmas morning was a gentle hint that we could just be still. And so we were. For a whole week. That was the best and most unexpected Christmas gift of the year.

Perhaps this a good introduction to our Serenity Now this week.

Homeschooling and Craft Cleanup

By Marca

I love crafts.  A lot.  I love markers, pencils, and paper.  My daughter does too.  I love to see the colors all organized and lovely sticking out beautiful containers that melt them into a beautiful rainbow of creativity and activity.  Last week, they didn't exactly look that way.  It was, well, more like color had vomited into every crevice of my cupboard.  Well, I did need a craft organizing overhaul.  But, all of it really pertained to the scary closet that was open all day and at night, jammed shut forcing the monsters back behind the sliding door.  But it would literally, creep open when one walked away from it.  I don't have a good picture of the ridiculousness that was this cave.  Well, I do, but that is getting worked out this week while I finish organizing my pictures.  But, this cave is much more than craft and art supplies.  It is my daughter's home school closet.  Of course, art is a big part of part of Ladybug Learns.  And becoming a big part of our whole house as it has been pouring out its den into the rest of the house.

So, I like a beautifully decorated and festive home for the holidays and I don't want that closet to take over the rest of the house (as of only recently, it was seeping out onto the dining room floor, covering the table and making its way to the living room).  We are in the midst of our Christmas festivities here at the Wilson house.  For homeschooling, our focus is on literature and geography and writing.  Away go all the notebooks, tests, and such and suches.  No worksheets or fact sheets.  We are exploring different Christmas traditions from around the world, reading great Christmas classics, writing and creating beautiful little festive crafts from our around the world for her World Christmas Tree.  Our current read is A Christmas Carol.  So, that closet has little use to us this month (except for a few of the craft items and the glue.  You really do use a lot of glue in school).    So, in the midst of a very crazy week, I organized it, one shelf at a time, one day at a time.  To try to tackle the monster in one day wasn't likely, but 5 minutes a day, one shelf at a time, I could do.  I like to call it my 5-minute fix-it.  And the beautiful colorful pencils and crayons have found homes in very cool jars and are being used to create lovely pictures of Scrooge's story this week.  I forgot how much easier school is when it isn't taking over the whole house.  Now, on to the jabberwocky that is my picture file on my computer.  THAT is going to take a lot more than Week 15.  I think my chest just got a little flutter with the week's challenge ahead.  More on that later.

A Lot on My Mind and I Just Can't Attack the Papers

By Marca

I have a lot on my mind this week. Dare I say that this week's challenge is nagging at the back of my mind? Decisions, plans, and priorities are filling my moments right now. And in the midst of that, I - we - are celebrating in our house. We are celebrating and honoring the day 6 years ago when we were joined with our daughter and made into a family. Hard to believe 6 years ago after so many years of waiting and longing I became a mom in a crowded government building in China. Today, we just spent the day together, thankful for the moment, thankful for the moments for the last 6 years. So, I am behind. And that's okay today. There is a lot going on here, but the good news is I am still heading down the right path. And my filing can wait...at least another day.

A Work in Progress

By: Melanie 

While embarking on a new challenge each week, I have been making adjustments to previous weeks as I go along. 

Do any of you have small children? And of those who do, did anyone giggle to themselves when I wrote ambitiously about cleaning a whole room in one day? Do those without kids realize what cleaning an entire room entails? Get out the broom to sweep. Find the dustpan. Get out the vacuum cleaner, empty the canister, plug in repeatedly after the cord gets stuck and rips the plug out. Get out all cleaning supplies required for washing the floors. Manage to wash an entire floor (even an impossibly small one) before the water gets cold. And all I've done is the floor. Forget it. Scrap the old schedule...sorry Mrs. Meyer. Maybe with 9 kids they somehow tie each other into one big knot that you can leave unattended, or maybe this fantastic schedule materialized once they all took off for school, but it doesn't work for me and my 20 month old ray of pure, but distracting, sunshine.

The new plan is to use (mostly) one method of cleaning per day. That means that there is only one set of cleaning equipment to get out and put back, and it will be easy to remember what I was doing when I get back to cleaning after the inevitable interruptions. It looks something like this:

Sunday: Rest (ideally)/Catch-up (realistically)

Monday: Laundry

Tuesday: Grocery shopping

Wednesday: Vacuuming and Sweeping

Thursday: Laundry and Wash floors

Friday: Dusting

Saturday: Clean bathroom and kitchen fixtures/appliances

Today I played catch-up, but I have to say that I'm happy with what I accomplished last week. One of my top priorities is staying in touch with loved ones, and I managed to make some phone calls, send some emails and I even used snail mail!

Onwards and upwards, I say. Next up, the real fun begins. This week I get to use file folders!

Scheduling success! ...and failure

By: Melanie

I knew it was going to be tricky. I even planned ahead. But you just can't plan a toddler's mood.

We had a busy Thursday lined up. A gym class at 10am, a stop on the way to pick up a used car seat, and a doctor's appointment across town at 12:45. The plan involved walking the husband to work at 8:15 to get Ralph's exercise in, as we have been doing for the last week or so, then be home in time to finish getting ready and to leave the house by 9:20. Plenty of time. I had packed the diaper bag the night before and snacks were prepared and waiting patiently in the fridge. I had double checked my online schedule, to do list and grocery list, and printed copies to take with us. I even got up early to get myself ready before the girl woke up. What went wrong?

It all started at 3am, when Elle seemed to be under the impression that it was morning. She was standing in her crib, blanket in hand, calling my name and announcing "All done!". Hm. Long - painfully long - story short, she went back to sleep after 2 hours, 2 parents, 1 diaper change, 1 drink of water, a couple of threats and 1 mom asleep on the floor beside the crib. And she didn't wake up until 8:30. My beautiful plan. Foiled by someone who can't even use the bathroom by herself.

I know what you're thinking. I should have woken her up. Maybe. But there are certain things you just have to make rules about and stick to 'em. One of mine is NEVER WAKE THE BABY. It's not always convenient, but nine times out of ten it works out for the best. 

Anyhoo, she woke up late, we scrambled to get out of the house, and Ralph had to settle for a courtyard pee instead of a walk. Then, on the way home, she decided to turn up the cranky dial and we had a second scramble to get out of the house again for the doctor's appointment. Courtyard pees for Ralph = 2. Walks = 0. 

I guess I shouldn't expect perfection. Some days things just don't work out. The good news is that I did manage to give him a half hour walk last night before passing out from sheer exhaustion, and hopefully we'll get back on track today. The schedule is wide open, so there should be plenty of opportunity. If all goes as planned...

Week 2: Staying Organized with Kids

By: Melanie

I found a fantastic article today at BabyCenter called 55 ways to save time and make life with a toddler easier. There are some great tips in here...I particularly enjoy the one about putting snack foods in single serving containers in a basket in the kitchen so they're ready to grab and go when you are. Anything to get out of the house faster, right?

Enjoy!

Week 2: Online planning

By: Melanie

I'm a paper girl. I love paper and I like to write the old fashioned way. That being said, I have been considering making the leap to keeping my schedule on the computer. I like the environmentally-friendly aspect of it. So today I went searching for a website that offers free online planners. Here's what I found: www.cozi.com. I've been tinkering away with it for the last couple of hours while my daughter sleeps on my lap/chest/right arm, in between fits of teary wakefulness and sad little croaks for "ice milk" or "ohnge juice". The latter of which is off limits for the rest of the day, owing to the massive OJ-pukefest in the bed this morning. But I'm getting off track. Check out the website. I hope you love it as much as I do, and that it helps you to organize your schedule!

Lists

By: Marca

The minute my head hits the pillow my brain switches to worry mode. Everything I forgot to do or didn't have time to do starts running through my mind on repeat. All the calls I didn't make but needed to do add to my ritual evening worry. What is the most difficult part is that I can't do anything about it at this insane hour of the night since I am relatively sure that no one wants to hear from me at 12 AM.

Because it is on repeat I stay awake for hours tossing and turning, mulling things over in my head and usually instead of solving anything it all rolls into one huge insurmountable problem that I can't solve in the middle of the night. It becomes more than the few things I didn't do or have concerns about because I get less sleep which affects the start to the coming day which then affects how organized I am, which in turn affects the peace of mind I have and what I am able to accomplish. Then the whole ordeal again repeats itself.

So, I made a change a while ago. Lists. I love them anyway. I make them all the time. Sometimes, I make them on paper and sometimes, I make them in my head. I put a pad of paper by my bedside. Not just any scrap of paper either. It is beautiful paper. When I see it it beckons me to write on it. I love stationary and it is a pleasant experience for me to use it. So, here this beautiful stationary sits. And, instead of letting those things I can't control at 2 AM keep running in my mind on repeat I write them down, neatly, on my beautiful paper. I write down the "thing" and all the little bits about the "thing" that are running around in my thoughts along with what I need to do to take care of it. It doesn't take long. It isn't a journal entry. It is in list form. I take all the clutter out of my mind and I place it neatly and carefully on my paper. Then, I set it beside my bed and I let it go. I know it sounds crazy, but it works. It makes sense. In the morning I look at my list with fresh refreshed perspective I take care of matters. Sometimes, that means realizing it isn't worth taking care of. Sometimes, it takes care of itself. If it is something I need to do I write it on another list - that day's list of things to do - that sits in my kitchen. And then with great satisfaction I check it off.

This week is about organizing our minds and finding an inner peace. Getting those nagging tasks out of our minds and onto paper is a simple thing to do that can make a big difference. Not only does it help remind us of the things we need to do but it compartmentalizes them so that we can focus on the task at hand and not all those others that are waiting for us. While writing this entry a couple of important things came to mind. I am reaching for my day's list to write them down right now. Here are some great "list" papers to inspire you to get started on your own lists.

These two are from Expressionary. They allow you design your own, as well.


If you live in the city (NYC) perhaps you have visited Kate's Paperie? I love it. I love the smell of stationary and the beautiful visuals and textures of different paper. Here are a few faves from her site. Journals are great for bedside lists, as well.









Also at Kate's Paperie

I also try to get a lot of recycled paper or green friendly. Eco jot, a paper company out of Canada has some beautiful products.

A lot of these papers and journals can be expensive. I like to hit the sale baskets at local shops and grab from their bins of "so last month" designs. I also enjoy the discount I get at Barnes and N*oble. They have a great selection.

Those are a few places to get started. Enjoy!

Left It All Behind

By: Marca
Four years ago, we were busy. Really busy people. My husband and I were boarding school teachers and chaplains. We had a beautiful 4-bedroom house on campus that overlooked the Blue Ridge mountains. Three dogs, a cat, a bird, my teenage sister and our beautiful daughter filled our home with all kinds of joy and trouble. Three cars occupied our driveway. Our large thick grassy green yard dressed in rose bushes, flowers, and my willow tree was often filled with neighbors and students. Inside our house we had everything we needed and wanted. So much so that every room was perfectly filled to capacity. Life was good. Life was full. Life was also too busy.

While hours of work seemed to grow and our calendars filled uncontrollably like a bad plumbing problem our home life took the brunt. The laundry piled up, the floors went from dusty to dirty, the dishes waited, the lawn grew up on its own, and everything the we needed and wanted started creeping out of its place and instead of bringing us pleasure it brought a painful reminder of how out of control life was getting.

To fight back, we employed a nanny to keep daughter happy and healthy and on schedule and a merry housekeeping crew to restore order to our home filled with stuff. But, our calendars were only continuing to fill to overflowing and it was time for a change. Life was good, but we were getting crowded right out of our own life. My husband decided to make a change. A big one. After 12 years of teaching he was going to medical school. But we wanted big change if we were going to make change. We wanted to walk out of the crowd and find a quiet place to start from again. So we sold all the "everything we needed and ever wanted," left behind the house with a priceless view, said goodbye to our community of friends and students, tore up our calendars, packed our suitcases with shorts, sunblock and sunglasses and headed to the Caribbean with our dogs, cat, and our daughter. And quiet we found. Life wasn't busy at all. It was slow and it took some adjusting, but it happened. We found out that we didn't need to be busy and we didn't need full calendars and a house full of everything we needed and wanted. Life was good. Life was more than good.

For three years we lived that quiet, simple uncrowded and uncluttered life in the islands and in England. Then, we moved to the city. It was surreal to see people moving and hurrying like life had to stay busy to survive. It had become so foreign to us....to me. But a year of living here in this incredible city has found my calendar filling up, the noise of busyness returning and the stuff, responsibilities and mess crowding in.

I don't want to return to that life and my home is feeling like a traffic stop. I need to guard the sanctuary we have created for our family and let the busy, stress-filled and crowded life pass by outside my window while inside we live in a place of simplicity, order, and peace.

That's why I am doing this commitment - this challenge - with my dear friend, Melanie. We have experienced the good life and we don't want to lose that. I want to get back to being organized. And that is more than a color coordinated file cabinet (although, I am quite fond of that), it is being intentional about what enters our lives and homes and how we choose to live from the inside out. It is prioritizing, organizing, saying yes when we mean it and no when we need to. It means eliminating the ugly crowd of unhealthy relationships, unnecessary stuff, messes, stressful situations, too much mindless entertainment (aka, channel surfing) and filling the good life with small moments like walks in the park, conversations with good friends, phone calls with parents, reading good books, and quiet cuddles with little daughters. It means finding balance and living there, contented.

So, like Mel said, "here we go!"